Ladies, we are the heart of our home. We are the thermostat. We set the tone and the energy. Face it, when “Mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy!” Isn’t that the truth? So when I camped on this verse from Proverbs 31:11 I had to resort to the commentaries. “The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil”.
I have included two links below:
Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers
This writer states that the man trusts his wife with his income. Knowing that she won’t spend it all frivolously and lead them the poor house.
Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary
This is a much wider view of the verse. But to sum it up quickly, the writer states that the wife of noble character acts right. She is not selfish. She finds ways to make life easier for her husband so that he can go to work and concentrate on making an income for them. She isn’t wasting her day away with mindless activities. She keeps her mind on her task. She knows when to speak and when to stay silent. She is not spending all their income on things for herself. She makes good purchases and saves the family money. She is able to handle pressure and not crumble when bad times come.
There are several more but for lack of time and space, I will let you find them.
After reading some of these I asked my husband if he really trusted me. He said that he did. So I gluped, took a breath and asked him if he thought I was a frugal spender and kept our pocketbook tidy.
He paused for a moment like he wanted to skip this conversation. I asked him to be honest because I am writing this blog. He said that I can be a bit too impulsive sometimes. Especially on items, I buy second hand from swap meets and online garage sales. ( I just go crazy over a good deal!) But the truth is half the stuff I buy ( like four bags of concrete) end up sitting in our garage. He is right. I can not be counted as someone who takes care of his income. So this is an area I vow to work on. By God’s grace, I will succeed.
I know that some of you will cringe when you read these commentaries. We are all modern day women. Some of the things I read, did raise my hackle a little. I have to remind myself that a few of these are really old and come from a time when women were not treated as we are today. BUT, I must warn you not to become over proud of these achievements, or toss all the ideas out, just because you are offended.
We are the daughters of Eve, and she was deceived by the serpent. Adam was not deceived, he was just plain disobedient! Our curse is to try and rule over our husbands. But he is the one whom God has given headship over the family. God gave him that authority, and we must remember that though we are co-equals with our husband we are the weaker vessel, and we have a different role to play in our marriage.
We are not to be in competition with our men. We are to work as a team player. Sometimes that means making things easier for them in spite of our own feelings. We just have to put our big girl panties on and do some heavy lifting. I know that is a hard pill to swallow. I had to chase that big horse pill with a giant glass of humility once too. But God spoke to me about this a few years ago and told me that my job was to be a “helpmate” to my partner, and not to try and win some battle against him.
Once I figured that out things got a little better for my marriage and my own personal life. I hope that my husband is also in agreement, but I have already asked him one tough question tonight. I do not think I can bring up more courage to ask him his thoughts on the above. I will save it for another time.
The wife of Nobel character will be one who her husband can depend on. He will be able to give her his paycheck and know that she is going to do right by him. He will have confidence in her ability to handle some tough day to day decisions.
My husband has no problem letting me deal with the various household problems that creep up. Like when our heat pump quit working early this winter and we were without heat for 2 months, while waiting for our insurance company to buy the parts needed to fix it. He allowed me to do the research on some of the HVAC techs in the area, and he let me handle the transaction when we did find someone to fix it. It might be a poor example, but it is our most recent large event. There are many other things he has allowed me to care for. He is able to go to work with confidence and concentrate on his job.
I know that there are some men who do not trust their wives to make any kind of decisions for the family. I read once that that nine out of ten men do not fully trust their wives. Now I think that is more on the men’s side and their tendency to be untrusting then it is the wife’s fault. But I think that we can do better in some areas to help our men trust us.
Finding harmony and balance is the key to doing this.
Look up and read what the bible says about the role of the wife. And do not get put off by some of the verses about submission. The husbands have a much bigger task to “Love” their wives and to lay their lives down for the woman they marry. God gave them the headship. “To those who are given much, much is required”. So do not try to take what is not yours. They have to answer to God, and you do too.